everywhere at once, take two

Again feeling slightly overwhelmed in both the immediate and long term. 

Funny, since this time my life actually has a shape to it. I'm settling into being a puppeteer 9-5 M-F. It's funny how regular it seems right now. I'll be on the road soon though. Daunting. That's the only word I can think of to describe touring right now. But rehearsals are going great, and I'm really enjoying working with my touring partner and director.

I've decided to go back to get an MFA in puppetry sometime in the next ten years. Probably get certified as an ASL interpreter sometime in there too. The order is kind of fuzzy, and it's a little overwhelming to think about, but it's good. Confusing and intense, but good.

Things are going great, but I'm feeling that creeping Sunday night feeling. 

I just watched some YouTube videos from this summer at Bread and Puppet and can't believe I missed it. Missed. In the complete definition of the word. I miss Megan and Taryn so much it hurts. I can't believe it's been almost a year since all 3 of the little piggies were united. I felt the same thing during the 2-3 weeks they were there on the farm, but since then I've settled into being happy about my life here in Portland. Feeling present, and thankful that I'm here. (Damn you YouTube and lazy Sunday evenings for making me feel otherwise!) But the thing is, I miss all of my friends. I'm just now getting to know a couple of people here. Really getting to know. Namely Avery and Anna, which is fantastic! And I'm terribly thankful for their friendship. I'm still slowly building and extending my community. But since Laura Jean has left, it's made me realize how few people know me. Really know me in that way that Hallmark has hijacked to make everything I try to say about it sound cleichéd. 

I can't believe it's been a year and a half since I sat across from Nina tasting her adventures in foccicia. A year and a half since I took a walk with Helen down Boulevard with Scout. Since I drank PBR out of a boot at 283 with Matt Weeks. Since Lauren made working at Earth Fare not feel like work. Since Megan Louise and I made dinner. And that's just Athens people! 

I miss my friends. Being away from people who know you makes you feel kind of lost. You see yourself in them. It's like being reassured that you're okay, that you do exist. It's a lot harder to do on your own. 

I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow. I just wanted to send some love to the people I care about most, but see the least.