monday morning

I had a good weekend.

ramblings of a lonely night

My life is uncomplicated. 

I have a lovely roof over my head, a comfortable bed, a sweet doggie, plenty of good food. Money is tight, but enough. I have a community, family, and friends who love and support me. I have a job doing what I love with some wonderful people. Check. Check. Check. Maslov would be proud. 

When things are going well, it gives one ample time to think of the big shit. Where am I going? Who am I becoming? What is this life that I'm building?

I just took Scout for a nighttime walk around my neighborhood. Things are quiet, but I can hear the lives of others going on around me. A few streets over people are going places. Next door, my neighbors are settling in for the night. 

My life is full. Complete? What is a complete life? 

I talk too much. I have always tried to fill the silence. And now, here I am in the silence filling a page. This has become a journal of sorts for me, so indulge, if you will dear reader, the ramblings of a lonely night. 

I have always been pretty self aware. A quality that serves me well in many facets but tonight is hard to turn off. I want to learn to shut up. I want to be a better listener. I want to be able to be present without the need to participate vocally. I feel painfully aware of my need to be found intelligent, relevant, quirky, interesting. I want to be. Just be. I know I have nothing to prove. Why do my adolescent tendencies sneak up on me when I am happy? It's like the habits of sadness remain after the feeling has gone. 

I am not yet the person I want to be. I'm okay with that, but can't sit with it. 

I like my life.

I love my life. 

It will change.

In a year, I may be living somewhere else. Doing other things. I know that's not remotely profound, but for some reason right now I am full of the bigness of that. 

I have no conclusion, but tonight I suppose that's a fitting place to stop. 

My week.

Started work. Found a couch. Ran a couple of times. Finished a book. Started a book. Happy hour with co-workers. Got over snot-in-my-face sickness. Went to bed early a lot. Started walking scout in the morning. Rearranged living room. Enjoyed living in a clean house (where the dishes are done everynight!) 

's about it folks. Things are going great, and I'm pretty darn happy. 

update, up what?

Yo, kids. Sorry for the delay. I've not posted because, honestly, not a lot has been happening. 

I subscribed to Netflix and have been watching copious amounts of movies (New faves: True Blood, and Weeds). I stuck to my plan of lounging around in bed, and it's been delightful. I picked up 5 new books from the library today, I've got two knitting projects going, I've been working on lines, and I'm finally got some momentum on the sasquach puppet I haven't worked on since April. I ran lights for a show over the weekend and have been spending lots of time with my room mates. Sadly, Anna will be leaving us, so the hunt for a new roomie is on and consuming lots of time. I'm trying to be more social, which meant breakfast and pedicures with one Ms. Sally Martin last week, as well as dinner and gelato with Goose. 

I'm just trying to enjoy my last week of freedom before I head back to work Monday, which I am also pretty stoked about. I love my job and the people I work with so much! 

So, my whirlwind summer is winding down, and honestly, I couldn't be happier about it.