time change

Just yesterday while I was folding laundry at the clinic I laughed to myself how different my life is now than it was a year ago. Yesterday I was wearing a sundress and ballet flats, at my job as an office manager, here in Portland. A year ago I was showering once a week, wearing my carhardt overalls everyday, peeling garlic, toting cardboard, making oatmeal, singing, and living in a tent in Northern Vermont. A year ago I was scared, completely and totally insecure about the direction of my life, and feeling surprisingly alone in a communal setting (with a few notable exceptions). Now I am astonished daily by the community I have found and built here in just 7 months, both personally and professionally. I love my job, and am giddy to the point of ineptitude about my job that starts in August. I am so in love. I guess the only thing similar, is that I love the place that I am. There have been many mornings that I have missed the crisp air of the northeastern kingdom. The midday heat of the circus field. The magic of the pine forest. The creaking, creeping beauty of the museum. Portland, in ways that continue to surprise me, feels like home. Walking, and biking everywhere. Having Scout here, of course, but even the city itself. I told a friend once that it feels like an old coat with pockets full of treasures that I had forgotten about. Familiar, but exciting.

I just got off the phone with Danny from Bread & Puppet (everyone on the east coast continues to forget about the time change, which always makes me laugh. thankfully, I was already awake since I have to be at work soon). He wanted to know if I was going to be able to make it out this summer, and I had to tell him that I couldn't. I'm broken hearted that I can't see all of my favorite B&P folks this summer, and just be on the farm and everything that means (especially since I'm in such a good place now), but the first two weeks of August I have a PlayWrite workshop, and on the 15th I start Tears of Joy. But as disappointing as that is, it makes me happy too because it yet another affirmation of how good my life is. In so many ways, I went looking for something at B&P last summer, and what makes me laugh now is that I had to leave to find it.